Resilience is not an innate trait but a skill developed through consistent practice. Daily check-ins provide a safe space for children to process emotions and solve problems. These brief conversations shift the focus from what happened to how they handled it.
The Timing Matters
Transition points offer the best opportunities for connection. The ride home from practice, the dinner table, or right before bed are natural pauses. Avoid interrogating a child immediately upon pickup if they seem overwhelmed. Wait for them to decompress.
Questions That Promote Growth
Standard questions like “How was your day?” often yield one-word answers. Specific questions encourage reflection. Focus on effort and problem-solving rather than just achievements.
- Challenge: “What was the hardest thing you did today?”
- Response: “How did you handle that situation?”
- Help: “Who helped you, or who did you help?”
Validating Feelings
Dismissing a child’s frustration blocks resilience. Validate the emotion before offering a solution. Acknowledge that a situation was difficult or unfair. Once the child feels heard, they are more open to discussing strategies for next time. “That sounds really tough” is a powerful opener.
Modeling Resilience
Parents should participate in the check-in. Share a personal challenge from the day and explain how it was managed. Seeing adults struggle and recover normalizes failure. It shows that setbacks are a part of life, not a sign of inadequacy.
Consistency Builds Trust
The goal is not to fix every problem but to build a habit of communication. Over time, children learn that they have a support system. This security allows them to take healthy risks and bounce back from failure.